73 Days Left of Phase 1 of P90X

73 Days left of Phase one. Today I am sort of tired, nit sure why, but I am. Last night I had a great workout with Plyometrics. Its amazing much exercise wakes the body. and the mind. I had my usual dinner and recovery drink. I weighed myself after exercise and I was 179.5. It may have been due to water weight, but as I ahave said before, I like what this program has to offer. Its not so much what it is, but I guess how it is presented. I know if I dont cheat myself and am diligent with my effort I will reach my goal. I have been trying to get ultra fit for many many years, but never was able to reach that point. I think I would talk myself out it, or thought that I did not deserve it for some reason. Its funny how people react to me. Granted many think that I am a carazy fitness freak, but in my mind all I am trying to do is reach a level fitness that I believe I should be at. I understand genitics and how that plays a part, but diet is such a crutial part in a healthly lifestyle; and diet is so controlable. I eat my chicken and yogurt most everyday; and all I really hear is people making comments on why would I eat like that. Why do I choose to do that. I guess I want people to say of corse you eat like that, look at yourself. Your totally fit and healthly. In my mind I feel like that, but I really want to look the part. I want to be lean and not worry about any flab hanging off me. Plus, I love being flexiable. What a differnce being flexiable makes in the day to day. It really is wonderful.

For the past year I have been working off a Audio Book called Goals, by Brian Tracy. It is a fasinating book with tons of useful advice and activities. It has taught me many things, but the main thing is that it has taught me self disipline. You have to have self disipline to reach any goal. I needed to break out of immediate gratification and look further into the future. Plus, it has taught me that if I do "X" and do it 100%, then I should very likely reach "Y". I know easier said than done, but it is a critical component of reaching goals. I have learned to listen more to that little voice inside me. Telling me how fun it will be when I reach my goal. The feeling of gratification I will feel. Plus, just the boost in self confidence it provides. In any goal you want to reach you have to try, and not just wish, but actually take action to reach your destination. I find that getting healthy for me is almost an hour by hour task. I wish it was not the case but I find that most of my thoughts are consumed with this goal. I am either hungry, or thinking about being hungry, or thinking about workout, or just feeling the soreness in my body are all constant reminders of my effort. At times I find a great feeling of accomplishment attempting to hit this goal, but then other times I feel as if I am being to diligent and forgetting about balance in my life. Perhaps this is what people struggle with when they want balance in thier life. They are struggleing with the same internal dialog I feel now. If others are reading this I encourage people to comment and provide me feedback on this, as I am finding it difficult to maintain. The difference about this time is that I am convinced I am going to hit my mark. On this eating plan i dont feel as I am always fighting for food, or to tired that I am munchie all the time. This is pretty much my main struggle now; the struggle within myself. I need to keep fighting that I rewire myself that this lifestyle is considered normal and predictable, rather than stepping out of my comfort zone.

I have made great ground already and I know that, but I still dont feel as if I am at my goal. I still got work to do. I would like to hear others comments considering this issue and how you are sucessful with it. I dont want to hear excuses from people, because there are none. You are either on the program and living it, or your not. The metaphor I can think about that applies, is a metaphor with money. Some people are born into money. They will never ever have to worry about money, so they live thier life as such. There are others who begin with nothing, but with work they achieve thier goal of sucess. Then there are the scrappers, who just fight and claw their way to get what they want all the way. This is all very simlar to dieting, or working to be fit. Some people never have to worry about or really have to work at it. Then there are others whom just need to be educated about it and they easily apply the pricipals to make the needed change. Then there are people who just fight and fight their way to reach their gaol. Then there are those who never do anything and just blame and point the finger at the one who succeed. Saying that its not for them. Being 179.5 last night that mean I am 100 pounds down from my heaviest, so I know the process, and I respect the process, just sometimes I feel a bit like a boat without a rudder. I just know now that feeling waxes and wanes. I will obtain laser like foccus again and be more motivated than I was before, be more diligent in reaching my goal.